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Why Do Some Men Stray into Infidelity? |
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Written by James Walsh
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Thursday, 25 December 2008 |
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It’s - ‘Adultery’ and people indulging in such acts destroy their marital relationship while deeply hurting the people who love them most. Infidel people know that their acts are not only wrong but dangerous too, for revelation of their deeds would wreak havoc with their personal life. Yet, they are prepared to take such a great risk.
What motivates them to do so? People of both genders are known to have extramarital affairs, but the circumstances that drive men into infidelity are different from those that turn women unfaithful.
Is the Woman Responsible for Spousal Extramarital Affairs?
When apprehended, an adulterous man stoutly denies the affair or blames his spouse for driving him into committing such an act. Do women really drive their men into extra marital affairs? Some people agree that men are driven into seeking love outside marital boundaries, when it is non-existent in their marriage. Their spouse can partly be blamed for the loveless marriage.
Love and affection are vital not only for the survival of a relationship but also for making human existence happy. When it is repudiated, these lonely people stray outside marital confines seeking self-validation.
Denial of Love Makes a Man Vulnerable
Denial of spousal love makes people feel worthless and rejected and these feelings commonly turn them defenceless and they turn infidel.
Though marital unhappiness makes people susceptible, it is wrong to believe that every infidel person emerges from an unhappy home. Quite a few happily married men are also adulterous. It is individual thinking that makes them so. Men tend to draw a strict demarcating line between love and sex. Though they love their wife, they engage in illicit relationships to spice up life. Basically, it’s the cultural upbringing that determines whether adultery is perceived to be wrong or accepted.
Upbringing and Individual Attitude
Men are known to stray more than women in patriarchal households where the philandering men in the family are responsible for nurturing generations of infidel men down the line. The socio-economic conditions at the home front have a deep impact on the attitudes of the family members. It is heredity in such a lineage, to be strict with the women and encourage men to turn adventurous. As infidelity is forbidden by society and religion, the prohibition incites these adventurous men. The associated excitement of it makes adultery desirable.
These could be the general reasons that promote adultery. However, it is not right to blame anyone, and infidelity is usually individual responsibility.
Infidel Individual at Places of Work
Individuals, holding liberal views on adultery, are more inclined to have affairs in the office. Attraction between men and women is common while working in close proximity. If the physical relationship is followed by emotional attachment, the alliance turns stronger than the marital bond.
Once the extramarital relationship proves pleasurable and goes unnoticed by family, the man begins craving for more of such experiences. Such an excitement induces changes in the brain chemistry that makes adultery addictive. Addiction to adultery then becomes a problem that has to be handled by professional experts. However, it is not the work place alone where extramarital liaisons are developed; affairs can be developed at home too.
Online Affairs Developed at Home
In families where both the spouses are working, the wife spends all her free time with the children. The subsequent lack of attention induces the man to engage in other activities. It is at such leisure times that online relationships get developed. (Cyber affairs are alluring for the secrecy and privacy they offer.)
Developments of such affairs are usually accidental. Though the people concerned lack physical contact, they are deeply attached to their online partner. Such emotional bonding gives rise to intense crisis in the family. The good news is that, after enduring such distressing circumstances, marriages are turning stronger. The spouse of the infidel person wakes up and pays attention to marital problems by redressing them with remedial measures.
‘Adultery’ in a marriage, is a complex issue. Reasons as to what drives spouses to become unfaithful vary greatly and the factors leading to it differ according to gender. 9 out of 10 people disapprove infidelity, yet more than 3 out of 10 men develop extramarital relationships. Human heart is designed to love, and adultery is an offshoot of this characteristic.
About The Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
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Last Updated ( Friday, 26 December 2008 )
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Adultery has nothing to do with "an offshoot of love". Love is in no way hurtful nor harmful. To say it's "an offshoot of love" is like some guy saying "Oh, I killed my kids & wife coz this world is just so evil. I wanted to protect them from all that suffering & horror!"
People are just too scared to open up & communicate, & that's what a relationship is. It's not just about sex, nor give & take, but the willingness to give without expectation.
Communication is the key to understand every problem. If there's no communication - there are problems. Don't make feeble excuses or reasons.